One of the most confusing areas in Claiming Voice is how to effectively process and express anger. Anger is such a powerful emotion and most of us have been exposed to polar extremes of scary, destructive anger, or passive, suppressed anger.
There is very little space in this culture for learning how to deal with it well. I wish every school had conflict resolution as a core part of the curriculum.
The simple story of my history is years of getting stuck in anger after years of feeling like I didn’t have a right to have it. So now I like to own it. Because I appreciate that it’s a natural emotion that it’s my birthright to have.
However, to ensure I don’t get stuck in anger, I need to direct my energy into learning how to use it for good. Like all emotions, I see anger as a guidepost. When anger comes up, here are some questions I ask myself that help both honor and transform this powerful emotion:
What is my anger telling me I want and need?
Where do I still believe that I’m separate and disconnected?
How can I get what I want and need without being destructive to myself or others?
What part of me needs soothing?
How can I use my anger as a guidepost to creating more connection inside and out?
And now I ask you – where do you get confused about anger and claiming voice, and what is your anger calling you to understand about yourself and your relationships???