Becoming Flexible in Difficult Times

Lately I’ve been struggling to embody equanimity, which is defined as: mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. 

There is so much pain and suffering and uncertainty- in my family, in our communities, and in the world.  

I’ve questioned whether it’s ok to experience joy while all this suffering is going on; I’ve also wanted to pursue joy with wild abandon and completely dismiss the suffering of others.  I’ve wanted to control everyone and everything, or totally shut down.  None of these feels like the right solution, and I become more unstable when I flip flop from one extreme to another.

Maybe you can relate to this, the flip flopping to extremes, the confusion about how to care for yourself while caring for others.  Many of us get out of balance in this regard, either over-giving and finding ourselves depleted, or being so consumed with maintaining our own bubble of pleasure and control that we’re doing very little to alleviate the suffering of others beyond our immediate circle.

There are a few things coming through as I reflect on this experience:

• We must have Joy and we must Create so we can do our part! Feeding our joy and creativity strengthens our system so we can connect with pain and suffering without getting paralyzed.

• We need to become more flexible. The more flexible we are in mind and body, the more we can adapt to the ever changing tides.
  
• Flexibility helps us rise above extremes, moving us into the middle ground where we no longer have to desperately attract, avoid, or control any experience or feeling.
  
• When we release tension, we can see alternative solutions.
  
• We need support to become more flexible! Constriction can actually be a primitive way of feeling safe. It takes great courage to loosen the reins of control, let our guard down, and open to softness. This week, when my tension was at its highest, I couldn’t engage in my flexibility practices until my husband was in the room. I simply needed more support to lovingly slow down and release the tension inside.
  
• There is a sweet spot: We have done our flexibility practices and feel grounded. Our breath is slow and soft. Our heart is open to our own vulnerability and to the vulnerability of others. We are thinking more clearly and we are ready to take effective and compassionate action.

As you face your challenges today,
may you connect with flexibility practices
that release tension and strengthen your system.  

May you have the support you need to let go of
your armored defenses, and find solace in vulnerability.  

May you flow generously between
giving to yourself and caring for others.  

And may you know, without a doubt,
that you are deeply and unconditionally loved.