Claiming Voice Through Fear

It’s taking a village to heal my puppy from a traumatic start in life that’s led to chronic physical and emotional issues.  Pursuing healing for him has been one of my most intense life challenges thus far.  My patience and trust in the bigger picture has been repeatedly tested and at times has resulted in mental and physical depletion as well as financial risk.  

But as someone who’s completely driven by a desire to learn about healing, I am not surprised that Moose and I have found each other.  I’ve been learning so much about the healing process through this relationship.  

I’m happy to report that Moose is now doing well and we are out of our darkest hour.  And, the healing process continues.  

Here’s some of what I’ve figured out so far:

1. When my reserves are low and fear is high, I can turn my worry into prayer.  When I do this, help and guidance show up in the most unexpected and amazing ways.  

2. When I feel alone in my despair, I can remind myself that we all have hardships and pain and this is part of the fabric of life.  We are all connected in this truth.  

3. When I feel defeated, I can re-focus on the progress that is happening and celebrate all the steps of healing thus far.  And I can dance.  For me dancing = pure joy and mental quiet and I am brought securely into the present moment.  This gives me a break from worry and fear about the future.

4. When I feel extremely high about progress or extremely low about a setback, I can practice Equanimity.  Equanimity is a Buddhist concept referring to a quality of not being mentally thrown off balance by our current experience.   It’s critical to be grounded in the bigger picture, not the minute by minute snapshots.  

5. And one last thing – I can learn.  I see Moose as one of my greatest teachers and Soul companions.  Our relationship is in complete alignment with my deeper calling and purpose.  I choose over and over to accept the lessons that he’s bringing me.   Sometimes I even get super energized by the lessons as I experience myself developing into a stronger and more resilient person because of our journey together.  Moose will never be perfectly healthy so I am learning to let go of control and perfectionism.  Moose’s health is inconsistent, so I am learning to accept the reality that our field is constantly changing, and find peace within fluctuation.

When you are struggling, think of me.  The worst is feeling alone and isolated in your experience.  I promise you, we’re all in this together, even if this situation I’m describing doesn’t feel like it adequately matches up with yours.   And do whatever your thing is that brings you into the present moment and fills you with a moment of peace.  You deserve that relief!   

xo,
Jennifer